first world problems

one of the biggest problems us first worlders face is tricksterism by shape shifting reptilians from sigma draconis 7. they have invisibility cloaks and diabolical refractors to blend in chameleon like with their surroundings.

yesterday i went to the park and dropped my point and shoot. dropped i say? it wuz in my pocket. a shape shifting reptilian from sigma draconis 7 could have been right next to me disguised a tree. i could have looked right at it and never noticed it, the camouflage is so perfect! this being could have stealthily reached out with a claw and hooked the wrist strap of the point and shoot and snaked it out of my pocket.

shape shifting reptilians have no need of a point and shoot. they are the ones who gave us digital technology in the first place. they are light years ahead of anything they give us. it is as if us first worlders gave a stone age person a kerosene lantern.

the reptilians made a deal wif urf goobermints to let them walk around freely in disguise and observe us. the reptilians can also abduct specimens for study and heinous experiments. the reptilians also do tests to see how hue-mans react, such as snatching something from our pockets.

i walked back along the path i took to look for the missing camera. i could not find it. perhaps another hue-man  saw it, picked it up.

the missing point and shoot is a canon a1100. it had a one gig memory card and two rechargeable AA batteries. i wuz 5 yeers old and obsolete having only 12 megapixels. it wuz defective when i got it. it wouldnt infinity focus when fully zoomed out. it laid in a drawer for a while until i realized i can use it as a dedicated macro camera. that i did. took lots of close ups. in fact i wuz doing a mushruin study the day it got  “lost”. i had taken a picture and put it in my pocket but some time later when i went to take another it wuz gone. plus…in order to remove the memory card you had to open the battery cover. the body and door are molded plastic. one of the door catches on the body had snapped off and the door was always slightly ajar. i have a later model a1300 and the door latch did the same thing. plus on numerous ocassions i noticed a whirring noise when the zoom lens did it’s travel in/out.

those obnoxious aliens.

well, as a first worlder no one was shooting at me. i wasnt dying of a terrible disease. i wasnt dying from hunger. i just lost a toy. a toy that wuz nearing the end of it’s useful life. mebbe i’ll call the park office. some kind patron of nature could have turned it in if the reptilain had just snagged it and let it drop. my DNA is all over the device. mebbe i am being cloned right now. a whole army of myself is being resurrected  as a prelude to invasion. or my clones are being used as a food source. you never know with these shape shifting reptilians from sigma draconis 7.

here are some of the last photos taken with the camera. mebbe the reptilians wanted this information to study urf  fungi. every knows that spores are deadly to reptilians.





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