i diss me brudder

well, i am an uhmerikan so this may be typical.

me brudder wanted to move in wiff me. he sed he wud give me 500 box a month. he haz a pension and SSI. sounds like a good deal doan it?

me brudder just had hiz last methadone treatment yesterday. he iz an alcoholic heroin abuser. sure, hez cleen now but what about in dee future?

i think dis iz hiz turd time on methadone.

i haint seem me brudder since mam passed on, dat bean tree or four yeers ago. before dat, the last time i seen him in poison wuz when pap passed on in 2000.

i contacted me brudder becuz me mam told me she done did do cut hiz ass outten dee will. turns out she didnt. when mam passed on i told me brudder wot hiz fifth share of the estate will be. he sed he wanted to keep in touch. i wrote a few times. he never answered. den i called a phone number he gave which wuz disconnected. i called hiz “obama phone” and left a few messages which he never returned. a few times hiz voice mailbox wuz full.

about a yeer ago i got a phone call out of dee blue. he chit chatted a for a while den axed me for 200 box. i sent him 50. off and on i sent him 10 box as a gift. unnerstand dat he got hiz fifth share like us all. i guess he spent it all. he sed he had some bills.

i suspect he spent the remainders on smack, junk, “H”, dope or wot ever you want to call it. when dee money ran out he went on methadone.

hiz GF must have lowered the boom on him. he told me he “wore out” hiz welcome. i accepted hiz offer of 500 box/month but i started having doubts. i doan really know me brudder. exactly wot sort of pussin is he really?

wot if i had so much trouble wiff him it warnt worth 500 box/month? wot if he haz a relapse?

he doan have car. he cud use dee town jitney to go to the strip mall wiff dee super market. one day i saw the characters dat got off dee jitney at the market. dey all looked like disabled white trash old guys (just like me brudder). i’m shore he wud get involved wiff unsavory pipples. my town iz supposed to be the heroin capital of north new jerky.

i doan want such pipples in me house. another negative about me brudder iz he smokes like an old pick up truck. so me house wud smell of cigarette smoke. the basement iz finished and dat wud be hiz flop but we haz to share duh baffroom. iffen he invites hiz loser friends over dey wud have to use the facilities also.

duh fridge iz in dee basement. i iz afeerd he wud guzzle my juice out of dee container and put it back. plus i’m trying to reduce my electric usage. i think he wudnt unnerstand.

when last we spoke he got upset becuz i wuz getting cold feet. i herd hiz GF in dee background saying he cud stay deer. so mebbe he didnt wear out hiz welcome. mebbe he got tired of her.

i think me brudder shud shelter in place. he shud give hiz GF the 500 box/month. i bet dat would make things all lovey-dovey. hiz GF knows him way better dan i do. me brudder iz a stranger and all i got iz bad memories of hiz alcoholic junkie behavior. i myself have two six packs a week. some folks wud call me an alcoholic. i tried to become an alcoholic when i got divorced. i cudnt do it. i got sick of alcohol. no so much physical sick but mentally sick. for instance when i pick up the 12 pack on thursday. i get nicely buzzed wiff 6 or 7 bottles. but on friday when i go to finished the rest off itz like nuttin happens. i guess i wud have to do even more to get the same buzz. itz almost like a waste of time, effort and money.i doan drink on weekends becuz i always have projects to do (like brewing coffee wiff solar power). anther reason i doan drink more iz dat i caint afford it.

in 30 yeers he never axed me if i needed any help (i never axed him if he needed help). we had close to zero communication. now dat he used up hiz inheritance i doan see why i haz to be burdened.

i wud really really like to share living expenses wiff a relative or even some one i established a trusting relationship wiff. i doan see it happening. it looks like itz goan to be me and duh cat forever and ever. if only i knew more about me brudder’s life style. he might as well be a complete stranger. our history of interactions iz from 40 yeerz ago. a lot can happen in forty yeerz.

i doan wanna be punished for doing a good deed.

uhmerika iz really fucked up. there are legions of folks just like me brudder. uhmerika iz goan to collapse from itz own stupidity. i cry for myself. i bet me brudder iz crying for hizzelf.


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