time to recharge duh bat treez!

guest post:
“Best way to charge batteries is to slide them from 1 side of a Volcano to the other side in a slant/slope fashion!
If they begin to heat up during transit, just move the wire up again in a slant/slope fashion.
Exchange for the charged ones in coin machines. Get 10 charged batteries per week (or for what else are those home delivery/street delivery drones?)”

science at itz best!


uhmerikan erections

every four yeerz uhmerika getz a hard on for a new POTUS. who iz duh biggest prick we can find?

i live in the grape stake of new jerky.we gotz us our primary in june. seeing howz deer iz only two choices i registered to be a dumbocrat in duh salad dayz of me yute when i wuz green in wisdom.

still, it works out well. i vote sanders in duh primary( to fuck hillary by proxy since i cant “do it” personally) and trump in duh genral erection.

without a doubt trump iz duh biggest prick we can find. he iz out and out in yur face, “I’M A FUCKING PRICK!” gotta love it. cruz and kasich all trying to be normal when in fact day be big fucking pricks. a true big fucking prick doan pretend not to be a big fucking prick. so of course i vote trump.

but? iz hillary a big fucking prick? of course not. she is a big fucking CUNT! if duh GOP field had lesser pricks in it i might lean toward the big fucking cunt. itz a close call right now. sumpin big wood have to happen to make me swing dat way. are deer enough cunts in uhmerika to get hillary in? may be.

heerz a guest post:
“Let me spell it out for you dweebs.* Scholars are divided, but either Aeschylus or Sophocles first increased the number of speaking actors on the stage from two to three. This improved drama dramatically. By implying that Kasich *should* suspend his campaign, you’re actually asking America to take a step backwards, but the nuance of this particular GOP tragedy calls for all of the sophistication of the ancient Athenian stage.

*all information cited from my ninth grade Global History project on ancient theater”

some one famous once sed dat it doan matter who votes but who counts duh votes. it may have been “uncle joe” stalin or it may have been an LBJ.

TPTB have pretty much tuk the curtain down and we iz all staring at dee brick wall.

solar powered breakfast!


yisterdee dey sed snow, mebbe inches of dee white stuff. well, it didnt snow until 1 pm and it quit around 3:30 or so wiff out any sticking any where. it cleered up later dat nite.

today sunday the sky iz cleer and after i returned from my jaunt in dee pok the sun was strong. i rolled out dee solar carts to brew coffee and make

as i mentioned previous i am using an old rice cooker. i threw in bananas and chopped strawberries. the berries were straight out o’ dee fridge but dey wuz warm when i ate dee oatmeal. i iz glad i doan haz to use duh microwave and all dat implies.

now duh cartz are recharging fer next time.

i am also pleased dat i kin use all me brade machines wiff solar power with only a slight addition of attentiveness. duh tree machines all consume about duh same wattage and none will run over 90 minnits. i kin make multiple loaves any sunny day now.

soon i will be mowing duh lawn wiff an electric mover running off the solar carts and using a corded weed whacker. i goan to pick up a corded electric blower next.

i had a mild almost snowless winter. dis iz unusual but not unheard of. duh problem bean now i iz having a chilly spring wiff lotz of snow showers. the snow fer today wuz canceled.

i remember back in dee 1970’s getting snow in april when i lived 50 miles south of heer so this iz unusual but not unheard of. some gloppal coolers say dat diz spring proves dat deer iz no gloppal warming. well, i dunno. bean alive for 60 yeerz i haz seen quite a variation in climate. jest ten yeerz ago i remember mowing duh lawn in march and duh next yeer having bitter cold in april.

everyone haz an agenda. when i get 50 or 60 degree dayz in january or february i notice it iz ignored. oh! but if i get one inch of snow in april there iz a great howling.

i aint complaining. i only used my snow blower once. dat iz good. if i haz a chilly spring as payment i can cope. if i haz a cool summer i save big time on A/C.

brade machine hints

“they” sed it wuz supposed to be cloudy and snow all saturday but early morning around sunrise wuz cleer. so i tuk a wok in dee pok.

when i returned duh cloudz had rolled in heavy overcast to almost cloudy brite. i decided to skip solar powered coffee and oatmeal.

i gotz mains power from duh utility. so i used it. i experimented wiff brade machine brade making. dis iz wut i learned.

i got cousin art brade machine an associate gave becuz he cudnt be bothered. previous i bought an old bread man machine from a thrift store and a sears kenmore heavily discounted for grinchmas.

i did use these machine but i never got it quite right. i finally tried the one hour 1 1/2pound quick bread on the cousin art machine and got decent results.

i left out a teaspoon of olive oil and i got a perfect loaf comparable to store bought. i decided to use the same recipe in the bread man. it can only make 1 1/2 pound loaves. however the quick cycle on that machine is 2 hours and 50 minnits! thangs went well and i kept peeking. i got a nice loaf when the LED (yes, it’ so old it uses LED) had an hour to go. i let it ride out and the loaf collapsed and the crust got well done even though i picked medium crust. still the bread wasnt that bad.

i fired up the kenmore. it has a “quick” bread cycle of 2:05. the booklet sez it iz for a 2 pound loaf but i added ingredients for a 1 1/2 pound loaf. what i did wuz use dee same recipe for the cousin art except instead of banana chocolate maple syrup strawberry i switched to tomato, green pepper, diced onion and eye talian seasoning. left out olive oil. when the LCD screen indicated one hour left i pressed the stop/pause button and shut the machine off. i left the loaf pan in to continue “baking” with residual heet.

the loaf looks real nice. i’ll do the same wiff dee bread man machine next time. the cousin art and kenmore have horizontal pans, the bread man is vertical. i dont have to tamp the dough down in the bread man.

it looks like i can mass produce brade when the need arises. plus i can use solar power on all now. i just have to watch the progress screen and abort when i got an hour left.

i dont unnerstand why kenmore and bread man dont have a 1 hour brade cycle like duh cousin art. ican unnerstand why some folks get discouraged wiff brade machines. only by experimenting have i found out duh correct way to get the best results out of these machines.

duh cousin art can make great brade unattended but duh kenmore and bread man need monitoring for duh same results.

after the loaves are done, i let them cool for 30 minnits den i slice dem up inter 1/8 slices, put in plastic containers and pop ’em in duh fridge. when needed i place in toaster oven to warm up. YUMMY!

bog boss big loser


back in february me boss told me to quit and called me an asshole right to my face. he had just returned from a vacation in florida or wuz it mexico. i suppose hiz vacation didnt help him chill out.

i walked away without reply. about 2 hours later i heard a big ruckus out in dee shop. i wuz betwix duh boss man and the spanish PR. dey wuz shouting loud. i heard some one say get out.

the boss man walked true my area and 2 minnits later he returned wiff dee general manager. boss man had a sheet of paper in hiz hand. next i knew the spanish PR wuz gone, as in fired or discharged.

later i figgered he wanted to pick a fight wiff me in order to fire me for insubordination and no unem benefits.

on last monday of march i axed boss man about the spanish DR who left on thursday previous. seems he exchanged words wiff dat fellow also. boss man sed he didnt need the spanish DR and sent him home. i told boss man the guy had a part time job summers else. den he turns around and tells me i haz to organise my area. i axed him to be more specific as to wot organizing he wanted me to do. he told me to put labels on everything. i told him i aint got no label maker.

boss man exploded, “you got an excuse for every thing! WHY DONT YOU JUST QUIT, ASSHOLE!”.

he stomped out of the room and flung the door open. it got stuck. at 3:30 pm right at quiting time he laid off the shipping clerk who haz ben wiff de company for almost 6 yeerz.

i had left at 3 pm becuz dere iz a sign by the time clock stating busisness is slow and everyone iz welcome to take unpaid time off. i told the general manger, my supervisor and the office manger i intend to leave at 3 pm for as long az we iz slow. the office manger axed boss man about dis and he exploded on her say “let him” and some harsher words.

i called the office clerk duh next day to give him my phone number and to use me as a work reference.

boss man wrapped hiz hade around a tree and had hiz jaw wired shut. i think he wuz trying to do hiz self in becuz he iz a loser. now we all have to suffer becuz he cudnt even do dat right.

i am looking for other employment. i doan see dis place lasting too long.

last i heard iz dat boss man regrets laying off shipping clerk. he now wishes he had fired him. seems like mebbe i should buy one of doze spy pens dat records conversations. i need me a smoking gun if i haz to get lawyered up.

umerika is a first world hell hole with such people in it. eactly wot is cripy crisp or trump or hillary or cruz or berny goan to do for me viz-a-viz my boss man’s harassment? nuttin, dey true me to duh wolves. i vote NO CONFIDENCE!

i be xp guru!


i got a real copy of xp home version 2002 (sp 2) dat i purchased for 99 uhmerikan box. i never went online wiff it and kept it “pure”. but…i own canon cameras. i bought a powershot g15 right after it wuz discontinued and discounted. it uses a “.CR2” raw format. on win7 i got no issues but on xp sp2 dey wont load. but…same raw files from earlier cams are just ok.

i used an old version of faststone and i updated to latest but no dice. den i farted around wiff other freeware and had performance issues. finally after much googleplexing i red dat i knead MS net frame works version 3.5 and and same with sp1 and 3 update patches. i spent some time doing all this and wuddahyahknow i can view and manipulate canon “.CR2” raw files in faststone and irfanview.

way cool. i iz a xp guru. IN YUR FACE!

if i cuddah called up trump or hillary or cruz and dey helped me wiff kindness and knowledge i wud vote for dat one. seeing how dey true me to dee wolves i am inclined to vote NO CONFIDENCE on duh whole stinking lot of dem. FART!

solar powered oatmeal!


yesterday i cudnt make solar powered coffee. it bean heavy overcast all morning. around 1 pm the sun appeared clear and bright so i rolled the solar carts out to top dem off.

today, sunday, THE SECOND OF APRIL(!), i got 2 to 3 inches of snow. this is unusual but not unheard of. but the sun came out strong early about 8 am. i tuk a wok in dee pok and dere wuz no one around. lots of foe toe ops.

when i returned i rolled out two solar carts and brewed solar powered coffee. i have sylvania 3 1/2cup rice maker. it iz a “dumb” rice maker with out a CPU or a LCD screen. i just add water and rice push a lever and the thing cooks rice by weight. when done it switches to a low power keep warm mode. it consumes 340 watts. the glass lid cracked on me the last time i used it.

i went out and bought a new one but it is an eight cup model that consumes 380 watts. the glass lid dont fit, too big. what am i to do with the old rice cooker?

MAKE SOLAR POWERED OATMEAL! i used the microwave to cook oat meal. if a microwave is rated at 1500 watts it consumes 3000 watts. sure, “old fashioned” oatmeal only take 5 minnits in dee microwave but it bothered me dat i wuz beholden to duh man and hiz grid. i have 1000 watt sine wave dc/ac inverter but it aint powerful enough to jazz the microwave.

today i dumped the same measures of oats and water in duh rice cooker bowl and pressed the cook mode. i found a pot lid dat fit the bowl. in about 10 minnits the rice cooker went into warm mode. results: off grid oatmeal iz possible at 340 watts using three 32 a/h bat trees hooked up in parallel with a 40 watt PV panel juicing the whole thing and a modest 600 watt dc/ac sine wave inverter. although it wuz sunny cloudz did roll in wiff periods of heavy overcast. i wud daresay less dan ideal conditions. good thang i topped the carts off yister dee when sunny afternoon.

STICK IT TO DUH MAN! i am so very please wiff me self. i am pissed dat i didnt think of dis sooner. i could have ben saving all doze kwh charges from the utility company. better late dan never, say i.

the winter of 2015-2016 wuz particular warm. i saved six hunnerd uhmerikan dollars(!)in heating charges, it bean 9 degrees F warmer in february this yeer over last yeer. lots of sunny dayz and mild temps. same wiff january and december. so winter is over and itz april and i got snow wiff chilly weather predicted for the rest of the week.

i remember many a march frigid and snowy. i remember many chilly aprils wiff left over snow dat wudnt melt. i remember mays wiff frost every morning. i doan like dat but it happens.

will i get all duh snow in april i shud have got in all winter? wudnt dat disprove “gloppal” warming or cooling by keeping it averaged out? iz dis just the last hurrah of old man winter?

i doan kair. i can make solar powered oatmeal. and you can too! and much, much more!