SPAAACE TURD! ™ 2

YOSH!
i wuz researching asteroid spaceships. i saw one i liked moth balled out in orbit around saturn. tesla drive, fully functioning environmental, lots of cargo holds, with an onboard AI. i decided to take a first hand look at it. i had plenty of vacation. a young whipper snapper wuz after me job anyway although he wuz more my protage. hot dam, i’m ready to retire.

3 months round trip with 2 weeks at destination. an appointment iz made wiff a sales lady. i cant leave for a while so i get things ready. all my papers and permits have to be logged.

my abode, such as it iz bean a fully automated habitat blended in with the surrounding environment nestled between to hills each a state forest preserve.

the closest next residence about 3 kilometers away. well, i live in a working class area so the housing is pretty dense. itz not az bad az living in the city. folks till want to live high rise apartments. THE CITY iz about 20 minnits away by jet pack or flying car, mebbe an hour by mass transit and a little shorter by smart car. i often pop over to THE CITY to see a rave review artist.

i havent lately. trying to add up some more millions. most folks dont save becuz they are alloted a basic income. this iz enough for food, shelter, mobility, entertainment, health care, clothing and much much more. there are events and toys that are exclusive.

i cannot in all honesty say i live in a classless society. amongst coasters there is an equality but then depending on what you do or who you know you can get exclusive seating or service, bumped to the front of the line, make reservations, be seen with an upscale device or toy.

i think that hue mans a re just wired for status. when the very first cave man put a feather in hiz hair he got status. and to this day folks still relish status. AI recognize this and use staus to manipulate hue man affairs.

in almost all other matters every one iz equal, male female or “other”. skin color can be changed on a whim, i happen to like green women for some reason, especially gals with yellow eyes.

i never changed my skin color, it bean white. so i am a male and sort of on the old side. luckily i am not hated for that. it used to be tuff after the lords of the last mucked things up. they bean all white and male and old…er. being like dat for a long time wuz almost a death sentence.

well, us old white guys proved out worth during the robot wars, sort of single handed saving hue mannity and making up for the lords of the last. lots of pippl say itz all bullshit, just a way for white guys to endear themselves to everyone else. itz an undisputed fact that 80% of labor iz done by white guys. doan get me wrong there are as many white guys bean coasters az any other type, itz just almost no one wants to run the machines that make civilization work.

it bean so hard to tell what sort of person anyone iz any more. i seen pink,purple and orange folks and i aint to sure what sex who iz any more. i guess i’m old fashioned that way.

some how the family nearest me heard i wuz goan to saturn and their child, a male child stopped by to ax me about it. his name iz jeero. nice kid, rather bright, somewhat mellow. he wants to go into labor. he likes machines. hiz parents are always trying to talk him out of it.

it’s my job az labor to plow the streets where i live when it snows. jeero oftern flags me down when i plow in front of hiz house and rides “shotgun” while do my rounds. he’s 16 now and i let him drive the plow on occasion.

“hey! bro!” he calls to me. i like to think he thinks of be az a big brother.
“wuzzup,jeero?”
“goan to saturn?”
“sure”
“itz in duh lokal rag, you know”
“i figger”
“bring me back a piece of saturn?”
“sure, i’ll put it in a jar”
“wuh?”
“saturn iz made of gas, i’ll have to put it in a jar”
“ok, i wish i cud go”
“you got skool and yur parents wont let you”
“well, dat sucks”
“wut about your GF?”
“yeah, i guess yur right”

we both noticed at the same time but jeero sing out,”hey,bro! a ROBOT!”
normally seeing a robot didnt require an acknowledgement but this one did. looked old from the beginning of time. not worn out just old style,maybe even ancient. the robot wuz walking up the road heading directly for my house. we stood there and waited for the robot to arrive.

this robot iz made out of metamaterial. cud be metal, plastic,glass, ceramic, cant tell. bipedal.upright. two arms with hands, robot hands. it’s head a clear bubble of some sort with sensors inside. i recognized a gamma ray detector, infrared, visible and UV capable. this robot is anthropomorphic in as much as two legs and arms a trunk and a head but not anything else to suggest hue man.

it spoke, a flashing band under the bubble keeping beat with the vocalizations.
“my name is hathorn”
“nice to me you, this iz jeero”
“howdy”
“i understand you are going to saturn”, wilbert says.
“it just seems itz common knowledge”
“i am asking you if i may accompany you”
“wut?”
“arent you doing a preliminary inspection of a spaceship there?”
“yes, i am”
“i know the onboard AI. i suppose hue mans wud say we are friends”

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