SPAAACE TURD!(tm) 1

“space turd” is copyrighted by myself.

back i dee day boffins sed dat the pipplz of dee erff needed 6 erffs for everyone to live duh uhmerikan dream. so doze boffins under orders from TPTB developed a way to get 6 erffs worth of stuff. TPTB got their cut of course.

it involved mining mars. all those robotic explorers just werent deer for “science”, oh no, right from the get go it wuz cleer dat mars once had life. the troot wuz kept hidden for a long time.

foe toes of fossils and other artifacts were debunked or photo shopped out.
once oil wuz discovered there wuz mars madness. if there would be martians they wud all be screaming,”INVASION FROM ERFF!”

briefly, fleets of cargo spaceships shaped like giant 55 gallon drums lashed together were sent to mars to get dat juice. long hoses were lowered from the space ships in orbit to the refineries on mars’ surface. it wuz pumped up and then returned to erff where it wuz further processed into plastics and drugs and other stuff people paid money for. dis wuz all done in orbiting factories.

hue man kind wuz almost snuffed out by greed and folly. only by sheer luck did technology continue. now a dayz everything is robotic and automated. the refineries on mars, the moon base the orbiting factories. sure folks go and live and work deer. mostly adventurer types or rich types or scientist types.

it wuz decided byt the lords of the last dayz of erff to rape the nearby planets to let erff heal. it haz mostly. it bean a wonder to behold. the fact dat 90 percent of the world’s hue mans died in horrible ways helped greatly. the same lords of the last days decided to bomb most of their fellow creatures to death.

the lords like to think of them selves as noble but in fact it wuz a war of attrition, last man standing. although history is revisionist, written by the winner, there are enough facts to support the deranged cruelness of the methods used.

some say these exterminations were carried out by hue mans under orders from AI.
some say AI built their own space ships and left. to be sure, there are still AI on erff pulling the strings and making the monkeys dance.

besides from raping mars hue mans also raped titan, a moon of saturn. titan haz oceans of hydrocarbons. the fleets of giant 55 gallon drum space ships went there and lowered giant buckets to scoop up all dat juice.

us hue mans all live like kings wiff armies of robots to do our bidding. boffins say deer are ten robots for every hue man.
some look like mechanical men, others like four legged beasts, some like smart cars and even some that look hue man.

hue man numbers were very low once, 100 million spread unevenly across the globe. now itz pushing 1 billion but dat includes folks on the moon and marz and even orbiting saturn. still, erff iz starting to get crowded again.

i myself had to come to a complete stop in my smart car while going to work the other day. someone else’s smart car had called for a crossing. i think this had happened only once before. usually i see no other vehicles on my way to work.

i work in an automated factory. i tend the machines that tend the machines. itz only four hours a day two times a week. although i wanted to pursue the visual arts i got roped into “labor”. me parents were both in labor. no one wants to do labor. it got so bad that certain perks were added to those in labor.

i amassed a small fortune of some many many millions. lots of folks richer than me, sports stars, singers, other entertainers, administrators. still, itz more than what a “coaster” can ever attain.

to maintain genetic diversity hue mans need a certain amount of folks to breed wiff. too small a population can end up with hereditary defects. “coasters” are folks who live a life of consuming the art and entertainment of others and managed by others and “buy” the stuff automatic factories produce. mostly coasters just visit friends and family.

although robots do lots of things many people coasters and other members of society like to grow their own food, make personal items, spend lots of time grooming and sexual activity. some folks even become parents and raise families.

lately i haz grown tired of being in labor. i always wanted to be a serious holographer and an explorer. i decide to spend all the millions i have and buy a space ship.

space ships come in all types. cargo, law enforcement, pippl transport, exploration, robotic, you name it. from the very big to the very tiny swarms.

besides from raping the planets i mentioned erffens decided to mine asteroids. asteroids have metals such as nickel and iron but also carbon compounds and methane and ice and organic molecules.

if you inspect many asteroids some may be solid gold or diamond. although none have eve been found there have been asteroids with high concentrations of useful elements. many asteroids of such nature were fitted with engines and bought in orbit around the moon and erff’s lagragne points. where ever hue mans need raw materials there are asteroids parked nearby being mined even around saturn.

for almost a billion folks itz a time of plenty. wonderful toys and devices that do amazing things are common. some say itz alien technology found on mars deciphered by AI.

many hollowed out asteroids get converted into space ships. the nickel iron ones are the most durable. small ones can be hundreds of meters while the big ones can go to kilometers. they are spun to provide gravity and folks live in whole communities inside them. these pipplz may be members of a cult or religion or just visiting other asteroid communities. many AI fitted themselves out in/on asteroids and many AI took along hue mans. some say the AI took their pets with them. many of these asteroid ships left the solar system to parts unknown although some remain in communication.

many types of engines are used. fusion/ion, EM, tesla, and other one off exotic drives that an AI thought of and took off with.

i cant say if i am being manipulated by AI but i purchased an asteroid space ship. i blew almost my entire millions on the ship, up grading and outfitting it.

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