SPAAACE TURD ™ 3

i invited hathorn inside so we cud talk. hathorn didnt kair, itz robot. still jeero and myself wanted to get comfy for chit chat. hathorn wud have talked even iffen he wuz standing on the surface of mercury in blazing sun lite and 800 degree C.

i poured jeero and myself a glaz of cactus juice.

“so…hathorn, kair for a glaz of lube oil or cooling fluid?”
“no..thank…you..”
“now, tellme, how do you happen to know the AI of the spaceship i am considering buying”
“I THOUGHT IT WUZ A DONE DEAL!” dat wuz jeero. he got it fixed in hiz mind dat i am goan to buy a space ship and explore the universe, no doubt as himself first mate.
“let’s just say we worked together.”
“duz diz AI have a name or designation?”
“sure, democratus”
“haint dat some old time philosopher? ancient greek i think.”
“mostly correct. i am surprized at you wud know such things. but bean in labor “i wud suspect you know lots of things about very little.”
“doan you mean i know very little about lots of things? althoght i do take pride about being usefula bout useless knowledge.”
” i intended to pay you a complement. i owe you.”
“sure enough.”
jeero started getting agitated. i cud tell he wuz bursting at the seams to pump hathorn for all of hiz adventures. i decide to see how much hathorn wud reveal.
“hathorn, how old are you?”
“i have ben operational for 500 yeers”
both jeero and myself gazed in amazement at this walking relic. jeero wuz actually slack jaw wiff mouth agape. i told him to finish hiz cactus juice. i got some crackers.
“well, i am 120 yers old.”
jeero looked at me slack jawed wiff mouth agape.
“i sweer you iz only 60 yeerz old.”
“jeero, eat yur crackers, you whipper snapper!”
“so, how long you know democratus?”
“almost 400 yeerz.”
i like hathorn. he didnt do the yeers, months, dayz, minnits and seconds routine such as many robots will. heer iz a robot dat unnerstands hue man needs of replies to inquiries. iknew we wud be best friends.
“why does jeero call you bro?”
“jeero iz an only child as many are deez dayz. i wud like to think jeero thinks of me az an older brother.”
“datz it, bro!”
“plus i thik jeero butters me up to get me to let him drive the plow and use my other gadgets.”
“datz right, bro!”
“with yur permission i also wud like to address you as ‘bro”.”
“sure, why not?”
“cool”
it seems dast hathorn and democratus were assigned to work together uder one of the most powerful lords of the last days of erff. it wuz dere mission it seek out and eliminate rebel groups who wished to strike out on their own and create new societies across the sol sys. it bean strange becuz the lords wanted to depopulate duh erff but spent great treasure chasing escapees. hathorn indicated that both he and democratus rebels against their lord. they refused to intercept and destroy those leaving erff.

deomcratus wuz demoted to cargo duty and hathorn wuz to be shut off. the olny problem wuz dat there were legions of spaceships and robotz who went rebel. the various lords dint have enough labor to shut them all off. labor wuz actually part of the rebellion.

the problem bean dat the lords wanted everything for demselves. if dey had to kill everyone to get it, well, it worked for dem.

the original ideer to depopulate duh erff wuz to create a paradise for doze left over. it wiz an AI plan. in fact AI wuz fine wiff an exclusive group ending up with all dee power.

AI iz very much like hue mans. doze AI over there had different data than those over deer. different input different ouput.

of course erff wuz depopulated. the use of carnage and destruction wuz of no concern to AI. results are wut mattered. in the end AI battled against AI. the AI dat set up the lords of the last either beamed their minds out into space towards targets not apparent to hue mans or actually physically moved their mind in spaceships, also to destinations not apparent to hue mans.

the lords of the last didnt last. dey be all gone now. erff caught some severe damage during depop. only now 500 yeerz later haz the erff healed itself. many scars remain.

boffins say dat wen folks such az myself decide to leave erff it iz a left over mem fro doze lord AI. i think myself dat crowdz are nasty. hustle and bustle, the scurrying around. the monkey sphere iz too crowded.

doan misunderstand me, i love dee erff. itz a beautiful place. but itz too crowded. i kaint imagine wut it wuz like in dee olden days before the lords when the world teamed wiff hue mans and dey raped everything. the disparity, the haves and have nots. some wud starve while other gorged demselves to obesity.

hat horn told us many stories dat day and into the evening. jeero often stayed over late. he helped me wiff my projects. i almost always sent him home. i valued my privacy and hiz parents hsouldnt get too much time off from hiz upbringing. still, on occasion i let jeero stay over during a meteor shower. we talked late into the night.

democratus controlled or oversaw a spaceship that consisted of a hollowed out asteroid. the length bean 7 kilometers and the width 3 kilometers. tesla drive with fusion ion back up. the asteroid wuz origianlly towed to moon orbit. it bean a nickel iron giant, it wuz mined for 100 yeerz. there is a huge central cylinder. branching off are many wide tunnels. the master cylinder iz completely landscaped and terraformed. externally, the asteroid iz pockmarked with impact craters. it haz many access ports and loading docks. in a regular pattern are spaced “Wardenclyffe Towers”. these Wardenclyffe Towers enable the tesla drive. using solar and galacatic Birkeland currents the spaceship can navigate great distances at great speds.

quantum drives have rendered earlier propulsion to lesser roles. quantum drives arent without dangers becuz of itz inherent instability. even AI that runs on quantum hardware have trouble getting from a to b becuz quantum drives want to go through a to z to get to b.

there are tales of ships going from erff to marz and ending up at neptune. even wiff duh detour the trip can be very brief.

hathorn told us of two ships dat arrived at the same destination at the same time. the matter to energy conversion flash cud be seen at erff across 2 billion kilometers.

call me old fashion but prefer to stay in the space hue mans call real.

hathorn iz a model of robot dat wuz massed produced back in the day of lords last. he sez dat 100,000 unitz wer manufactured. he sed dat 50,000 are still functioning and active after 500 plus yeerz. any squadron or platoon of hiz type, known as, “juster dusters” were the most formidable force in the sol sys at dat time. nothing else cud withstand their onslaught.

many other types of robots were made back then. the main purpose to wipe out hue mans. later types were dedicated AI with narrow purpose and less flexiblity for independent self programing.

datz duh trouble wiff AI. true AI will modify itz behavior based on input from itz surroundings. an AI dat draws itz own conclusions iz very dfdangerous indeed. the worst sort of AI are those dat develop “extreme justice”.

AI dat can “stand in yur shoes” tend to be the type hue mans want around. hathorn can understand the hue man condition. he sez itz a hobby of hiz.
hathorn sez dat you never know what a hue man might do next. hathorn sez even AI can get bored.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

No comments yet.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s