a trip to DMV

yeerz ago i always went to a hole in dee wall DMV office becuz no one knew it wuz deer and no waits. the grape stake of new jerky shut down a big regional DMV and then all duh other neerby onez got filled up. i found diz out a number of yeerz ago when i went to it to get me auto registration renewed. a mob scene.
for many yeerz i made shore i sent in my mail my renewal. by mail becuz online DMV charges a “convenient” fee. convenient for dem, costly for you.

just in feb this yeer i done did do me other car renewal by mail. i got me 6 month prof of auto insurance card so i went to put dem in dee carz. well! i look at dee registration fer dee 2nd won and see dat it iz expired TEN DAYZ! holy crap, a cop cud pulls me over and get all law and order in me face worse then iffen i wuz transporting illegal drugs or child molesting. i am a white old guy so dey come down heavy becuz i am supposed to cross ever i and dot every t.

i check on line i got 3 months before to 2 months after. well, saturday is tomorrow. last time i went saturday i got deer 30 minnits early and had to spend 30 minnits on line so it tuk an hour. dey open at 8 am so i had to be deer at 7:30.

diz time i got up late, got gaz o lean and didnt get deer to 7:50 am. the line wuz fifty people deep for registration amd mebbe 75 deep for license . it tuk me a half hour to get inside. i wuz duh last pussin let in for dat batch when an official told me and another feller to go to line 7 instead of the registration line. i wuz deer won hour. i left at 8:560 am! duh godz of paperwork were wiff me.

i cudnt figger out why i didnt mail in duh form which i shud have got back in may. i looked around thinking mebbe it slid under the car seat or got stuck in a pile of junk mail.

but…while i wuz waiting in line i herd another feller in back of me tell diz story to the pussin standing next to him.

he wuz to leave at 8:30 dat day to go on vacation so he checking duh car over, brakes tires, etc and paperwork and he sees hiz registration iz expired and sez how he doan know wot happened. mebbe he lost duh notice?

i’m thinking, well, mebbe he didnt get hiz notice either! mebbe duh state “forgets’ to send out a certain percentage of renewal notices. den some folks doan notice the expired, dey get pulled over by a cop for a minor traffic violation and then a court appearance and a hefty fine. plus, after two months past expire a citizen haz to jump through hoops of fire for renewal.

you see, itz duh way duh guy told hiz story. the inflection of hiz voice indicated to me he didnt get the renew notice just like me. he dint say az much, possibly afraid of “the man” coming for him, dat iz duh goobermint.

lucky him, lucky me. sure i spent and hour at DMV but dat iz much better than
dealing wiff an motor traffic constable wiff a gun and a badge and bean pulled over wiff cherries flashing and passers by sniggering.

this hole in dee wall DMV iz still dee best. i wont go to any other. when i left dee line wuz still out dee door and many deep. saturdayz is only to 1 pm so i am glad i got it out of dee way early. i’m legal, an honest citizen in all particulars, my papers are in order,SIR!


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