trappist monks-1, earth-zero!

the new internet meme is trappist-1. boffins say dat dis star haz 5 “earth like palnets” and 2 of them are in the goldilocks zone”.

i sawr a pik chure of trappist-1 with sunspots and 5 planets with oceans and klawdz and continents.
FART!
all doze boffins got iz data dat haz to be anal eyez and evaluated. no flyby probes no direct imaging just spectrographic data.
did i mention trappist-1 is forty light yeerz away? FORTY FRIKKEN LIGHT YEERZ!
in the “real media” they consider dat nearby. hah-hah! haint it kwere dat dey know more about duh trappist-1 system den dey knew about pluto befoe new horizons got deer? pluto used to be a pixel in the biggest skoapz and dee best spectrographic data didnt reveal nuttin dat new horizon showed and now we are to beleev wut all doze boffins tell us.
dey be yankin yur crank for more funding.
deez boffins say life iz deer and we shud rush out and meat dem.
marz which iz a bahzillion times closer and duh jury iz still out….
shudnt we go to europa or titan first befoe running out to trappist-1?
just axing. aint we gotz lotz to do on dee monkey sphere befoe we start stumbling around the universe?
besides, why go wen you can watch reruns of deep space 9 on youtube? get reel pipplz!
doan we havter get true trumpz first term first? wut of climate change? terrorjizzum?
we shud wait until the stock market hits 30,000. we shud only go until we destroy the earth and all itz species.
elon musk ox aint goan, no sir! he iz dee smartest man on earth by virtue of all doze dollarz he haz. he wantz to go to marz. do you want to go against elon musk ox? i think not.
wood you rather we go to trappist-1 or get a new smart ass phone in 6 months. you kaint do both, not enough resources.
FART!

correct sin tax iz racist

YOSH!
i red in dee fake nuz dat using correct spelling and sin tax iz RACIST!
only evil white pipl speak english correctly.

dat makes me unracist. HOO-RAY! i’m still an evil white pussin and i am old and male. if only i haz lotz o monee.

rich evil white old men want to bring back mastodons so dey can hunt and kill dem. fake nuz?

an @tommik reactor in france caught fire a few eeks ago and now special “snifter” planes indicate dat europe is enveloped in radioactive iodine cloud.
dont worry it aint as bad az chernobyl or fukishima. blame russia.

double you double you three for you and me.

CRISPER gene editing. damn wen are we goan ter stop fucking around wiff nay chure? fake nuz?

oh, all dee beez iz dying so we just manufacture mechanical drone beez to take deer place. fake nuz?

donald trump never shook hands wiff a robot. time for impeachement.

that which makes uhmerika GRAPE!

YOSH!

it bee duh CEO or TPTB.
“Our CEO fits this mold perfectly: 6’2, square-jawed former athlete with glasses. Year one strategy was “let’s do something we’ve already tried and failed at and don’t need.” Year two was “let’s rename year one’s strategy.”

His car allowance equals my salary.”

and

“AND WHERE DO THEY TEND TO LIVE? IN CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISESESES. CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISEES HAVE ACRONYMS, LIKE LA OR NYC OR CHICAGO… CEO IS ALSO AN ACRONYM, WHICH REARRANGED SPELLS “OPEC”, BUT WITHOUT THE “P”. WHO ELSE DOESN’T HAVE PEE? SEA ANEMONES. ANEMONES IS A HOMONYM WITH ENEMY AND CEOS ARE THE ENEMY.

CHECKMATE. ”

and

“Right up there with getting a copy or seeing a posted memo of how as a company “we” failed to meet our expectations and will need to tighten our belts and not to expect any bonuses or raises and then reading about the ceo and board getting bonuses that are 4 or 5 times my yearly salary. ”

and

“Year Three Strategy: Do something wildly irresponsible when considering long-term profitability/stability of the company that shows a strong uptick for a few months. Use this small uptick to show “demonstrable positive institutional leadership results” to gain similar position at company in different sector for increase in salary, benefits and car allowance.”

and

“This is by design. CEOs and upper management are not paid for the work they do…they don’t do work, unless you count golf and drinking. They are paid as an incentive for you to work harder. tournament theory has been the prevailing wage/incentive theory in US corporations for decades. See if you just work harder you may get promoted up the ranks to join them at low work for high pay (the dirty secret is unless you were born into the club, you will not ascend ot those ranks.). This is done to keep idiots with strong work ethics working 60+ hours a week for free.”

and

“CEOs are a lot like NFL coaches. Sure, maybe a couple of them are actually useful, but the vast majority are paid well so that they can be fired when the team/company performs poorly, in order to appease fans/share-holders and convince them that the ownership is committed to making changes in order to succeed.”

A Day Without Immigruntz

YOSH!
i thought dat today deer wud be no won about becuz dee immigruntz wud be off protesting summerz.

wen i go to work all duh immigruntz were deer. only one guy out.

it mustah ben a big sea krett becuz i only herd about it on the radio driving to work today. it wuz in the local on line rag too. not yesterday or last week or a month ago but today.

the effect wuz supposed to show how uhmerikan society wud be paralyzed iffen no immigruntz went to work. sounds like a strike to me.

i ben told over and over how unions are bad for white guys. why iz an organized labor stoppage ok for immigruntz? just axing.

i red duh comments on duh on line are tea kull. one wag sed dat if you really want to paralyze society den deer shud be a day without white guys. HAH!

lookie heer, i iz a white guy. i get duh message. i shud die a violent death at dee hands of immigruntz.

it looks like dee town hall haz ben doing dat for az long az i kan remember judging the lack of proper snow removal and pot hole filling. i pay property taxes and get very little back for it. a day wiffout goobermint? NAY! a lifetime wiffout goobermint.

if all deez immigruntz formed snow removal battalions den i wud be more inclined to champion dem. wen dey get in yur face and demand yur death den not so much.

wutz dee diff between a grunt (working class stiff) and an immigrunt? nor much, both bean O!pressed by dee man and exploited. itz just dat immigruntz are willing to do it cheaper.

itz just like joey sez in shane, “there’s too many”. too much of anything iz bad, even immigration.

why duz TPTB want immigration? becuz immigruntz mostly kum heer wiff just dee klothz on deer bakz. dey haz to by microwave ovens and more klothz and furn a chure and karz and everything else. datz why.

and wut of the environment? duz uhmerika want 600 million residents?

i ax you…is trump a punk? iz hillary a punk? iz O!bama a punk? duz dee answer depend on yur political views? wut if trump iz a punk? i think he iz. but so iz hillary and so iz O!bama. dey all punks and day gonna punk us, punk us hard and nasty.

fake nuze

YOSH!
bak in dee day, yeerz ago, fake nuze abounded. we used to call it misinformation.

fer example, coffee. first it wuz bad for yee, den good, den bad, den good until won wuz completely indifferent to dee effects of coffee good or bad. the zen of coffee ™.

ice cream, vitamins, ass burnz, microwave ovens, all were trashed at won time or another bean both bad and good.

science gave itself a bad rep becuz dey promoted theories az fakz. duh big bang theory iz not a fak. neither iz dork matter. itz a theory.

say a company spends a billion dollars developing “medicine” or a product or a chemical dat haz a targeted effect. even if all doze things have bad or dangerous side effects duh company wantz to get their money back by selling it.

of course dey only tell you, “IT CURES HOARSENESS!” dat company doan wanna tell you it causes monsterism or makes your balls shrink iffen you be a man or give you balls iffen you be a woman. you just get transgender surgery and shout, Shout, SHOUT it all out.

moe of dat misinformation.

wut iz reel and wut iz fake? certain things effect you. dont drink water, die of thirst. dont breathe air, suffocate. dont eat, starve. duh uhmerikan goobermint kan prosecute me for giving dietary advice. i am not a doktor nor do i portray won on TV.

@tommik radiation iz a perfect example. during the cold war it wuz a big deal to threaten nations wiff contamination and mutation for ever. now we iz back to radiation iz good for you.

iz michelle O!bama a primate or not a primate?

is donald trump a prick or not a prick?

is hillary goddamn clinton a kunt or not a kunt?

we wont know if climate change iz reel until too late to do anything about it.

GMO foodz…add ice cream genes to peas. good eye deer or wut?

why dont “they” put marijuana genes in spinach? good eye deer or wut?

FART! the rude wind blows for many miles about.

Perturbation of the Eschaton

YOSH!
TPTB kan ki$$ me airy a$$!

O!bama iz a knee grow. him and michele are knickerz. michele iz some sort of a primate but aint we all primates on dee monkey sphere?

all deez refuse geez are the direct results of O!bama’s policies of bombing the crap out of the very nations duh refuse geez come from.

yes, dump on trump but wut of O!bama? he cud of stopped duh bombing. warrant he a nobel piece prize winner? warrant he? den why wuz he so war like?

warrant he duh leader of uhmerikan policy? doan dat make him most culpable?
wny didnt he stop it? duh slaughter of tens of thousands of people, chillinz, old folks, the weak and sick, unlucky all slaughtered becuz uhmerika didnt want a particular leader.

why kaint syrians live in syria in pieces? and lybia sam ting. all doze counties duh uhmerikan war machine haz dropped untold megatons of conventional explosives on. large areas of dee erff laid waste.

i didnt want to do dat. i doan approve of me country bombing duh crap out of piplz far away. i doan need my moe joe to go out and smack some won up dee side of dee hade.

why refuse geez? dey come to uhmerika wiff jest dee clothes on dey back. dey need microwave ovens, cell phones, lcd tv’s, dishes, shoes, sofas, duh hole ball of wax. dat iz why uhmerika wants refuse geez.

me? i got a tv and a laptop and a digital tv, microwave, dishes, furniture, clothes. i be tapped out. i shud die becuz i kaint buy anything moe.

and…i make too much money. uhmerika kneadz it’s debt slaves. uhmerika haz itz O!pressorz and itz exploited.

folks who are glad to be away from an environment where death comes suddenly and violently are most likely to be agreeable to bean exploited becuz safety.

you can ignore reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of ignoring reality.