trappist monks-1, earth-zero!

the new internet meme is trappist-1. boffins say dat dis star haz 5 “earth like palnets” and 2 of them are in the goldilocks zone”.

i sawr a pik chure of trappist-1 with sunspots and 5 planets with oceans and klawdz and continents.
FART!
all doze boffins got iz data dat haz to be anal eyez and evaluated. no flyby probes no direct imaging just spectrographic data.
did i mention trappist-1 is forty light yeerz away? FORTY FRIKKEN LIGHT YEERZ!
in the “real media” they consider dat nearby. hah-hah! haint it kwere dat dey know more about duh trappist-1 system den dey knew about pluto befoe new horizons got deer? pluto used to be a pixel in the biggest skoapz and dee best spectrographic data didnt reveal nuttin dat new horizon showed and now we are to beleev wut all doze boffins tell us.
dey be yankin yur crank for more funding.
deez boffins say life iz deer and we shud rush out and meat dem.
marz which iz a bahzillion times closer and duh jury iz still out….
shudnt we go to europa or titan first befoe running out to trappist-1?
just axing. aint we gotz lotz to do on dee monkey sphere befoe we start stumbling around the universe?
besides, why go wen you can watch reruns of deep space 9 on youtube? get reel pipplz!
doan we havter get true trumpz first term first? wut of climate change? terrorjizzum?
we shud wait until the stock market hits 30,000. we shud only go until we destroy the earth and all itz species.
elon musk ox aint goan, no sir! he iz dee smartest man on earth by virtue of all doze dollarz he haz. he wantz to go to marz. do you want to go against elon musk ox? i think not.
wood you rather we go to trappist-1 or get a new smart ass phone in 6 months. you kaint do both, not enough resources.
FART!

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